This past Saturday was the four year anniversary of my mom's death. She wasn't the type of mom who put a unicorn band-aid over everything and told us that life would be all sunshine and rainbows. She was a realist who encouraged us to always express our feelings, good or bad. One of her favorite sayings was "I'm not ok. You're not ok. And that's ok."Read More
I woke up this morning to scary new world. I was hoping to wake up to a world where decency and love prevailed. I was hoping to wake up to a world where we could tell our daughters that the sky is the limit because we had finally busted through the highest glass ceiling once and for all. But instead, I awoke to a world where I no longer feel safe. I awoke to a President who calls women pigs, rates them by their looks, and brags about sexual assault. To paraphrase Patton Oswalt, I learned last night that America is more sexist than it is racist. And it’s pretty fucking racist.Read More
"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage." -Anais Nin
Courage to me is not about being fearless. Courage is being scared shitless and doing it anyway. Courage is your palms sweating, your heart racing, your throat closing up, and your brain screaming "don't do it!"
Something is stirring deep within me.
I am softening into my strength.
Peeling back layers.
Revealing the pure spirit that has always been.Read More
I don't often show my face in photos because I bought into a bullshit story a long time ago that my face wasn't worthy of being seen. As a kid, I was awkward-looking and often mistaken for a boy. As an adult, a man I had given my world to looked at me one morning and bluntly said "I didn't realize when I first met you, how 'Plain Jane' you really are." As if I had somehow tricked him into being with me by putting on some mascara.Read More
It’s Saturday night and I’m home alone with my pups, as I am most Saturday nights. I’m an introvert who has taught myself to be outgoing and extroverted in public, but after performing my social duties, I like to retreat back into myself.Read More
These days, I wear my heart on my sleeve. It wasn't always that way. I used to hide my emotions from the world because I didn't feel safe sharing them. Being vulnerable made me want to crawl out of my skin. One of the hallmark symptoms of trauma is emotional numbing. It's a survival mechanism that allows us to stay alive when the flames are threatening to consume us whole.
It works in the moment, but it's not a long-term solution. You can't selectively dampen pain without also stamping out joy.
"The right way to wholeness is made up of fateful detours and wrong turnings" -C.G. Jung
I have made more wrong turns than I can count in my life. At every wrong turn, I would beat myself up and bury myself in a thick blanket of shame. Abuse and trauma will do that to you. Trauma will make you believe the lie that you are broken.
No matter what kind of abuse or trauma you've been through, we all have the power to write a brave new ending. My personal story is not a pretty one and for far too long, fear and shame kept me small. Abuse will do that to you. I silenced myself because I was afraid of being judged and attacked. More than afraid, I was deeply ashamed.Read More
I speak to my pain. I’ve been whispering to it gently and asking it to name itself. I pulled a muscle between my shoulder blades the other day during jiu-jitsu and my back has been tender ever since. I could easily blame it on a poorly executed technique or not warming up properly, but I know these days my pain is deeper than what appears on the surface.Read More
I have slept with a hammer under my bed every night since I was a little girl. When I moved from Hawaii to LA, I brought my hammer with me. It moved with me from apartment to apartment. Even in intimate relationships with my partner sleeping soundly next to me, my hammer was never far away. Whenever I felt scared, I would quietly slip my hand under the bed and lightly grip the handle to feel safe. Some nights when the darkness felt suffocating, I would sleep with it under my pillow. I never thought much about it. It’s normal to sleep with a hammer under your pillow, right?Read More
To anyone who has ever wondered how women get into abusive relationships and why they stay, please take a moment to read this honest and achingly beautiful guest post from firstname.lastname@example.org. I am honored to share her powerful essay on my blog.Read More
Confession. I own a TV and sometimes I watch it. And I’m usually not watching the History Channel or a National Geographic documentary. I’m watching Sex and the City and Grey’s Anatomy reruns. Don’t call the yoga police – I promise I meditated earlier in the day before I picked up the remote.Read More
My name is Liz and I’m an iPhone addict. It started innocently enough. My parents bought me my first flip phone in college to use in emergency situations. I rarely turned it on because I was afraid of going over my minutes. But then came “Family Plans” and the “Fave Five” and suddenly I could talk to anyone in “my network” for free. A few years and a few phone upgrades later and I wasn’t just talking, I was texting, watching videos, Facebooking, Instagramming, and downloading every app imaginable.Read More
As a yoga teacher, I live in leggings and consider myself a bit of a leggings connoisseur. The Studio Hatha Legging by Lucy fits all of the three F’s – they are fashionable, functional and flattering. I’m a firm believer that activewear can absolutely add to your workout by boosting your confidence and your mood. And it’s a must that my workout wear can transition easily from the studio to the street. These leggings do it all and make sweating sexy. #FavoritePantsEverRead More
I spent my childhood running around naked and barefoot on the beaches of Hawaii, so it’s no surprise that I would describe my personal style as extremely relaxed and casual. It’s also no surprise that I chose a profession where I still get to run around barefoot all day with minimal clothing on. However, when I do have to put clothes (and shoes) on, effortless is essential. These days, that means finding pieces that fit my on-the-go lifestyle and can transition with me from the yoga studio, out to lunch, to a quick pit stop home to walk my dog, then back out to teach more classes.Read More